By Di Parker, The Good Grief Coach
Ten years ago, my world shifted in a single phone call.
My husband had been living with a long-term illness for many years, but that day we learned the news that would change everything — he needed a liver transplant.
The doctors had found lesions on his liver. It was cancer. Before he could even be considered for a transplant, he would have to face that battle first.
At Liverpool Royal Hospital, we found ourselves surrounded by a team of extraordinary professionals who cared not only for him but for us as a family.
Their compassion carried us through the endless tests, treatments, and nights of worry. Miraculously, he cleared the lesions and we began to talk about hope again — about what life might look like after a successful transplant.
Because he was also living with haemophilia, the transplant would mean something even greater. It wouldn’t just save his life — it would change it completely. For the first time, he might live free from haemophilia.
He had so many dreams waiting for him. A passionate member of the Manx Tri Club, he’d spent ten years as their referee and secretly longed to complete an Ironman himself one day. On one of our many visits to the hospital, we passed a wall of posters for the “Transplant Games.” I smiled and nudged him, saying, “There you go, love — your next challenge.”
Sadly, that moment would never come.
When Everything Changes
One evening, we were flown from the Isle of Man to Liverpool again. The team suspected a bleed into his lungs, and both the haemophilia and liver specialists worked tirelessly to stabilise him. Behind the scenes, phone calls were being made to transplant centres across the country — the situation had become urgent.
I was in shock. It felt like everything was happening in fast-forward, as though we were being swept into a future we hadn’t prepared for. London was mentioned as a possible destination.
Then one of his consultants — a man I had come to trust — gently asked me to step aside for a conversation.
The bleeding wasn’t from haemophilia. The cancer had returned.
Within hours, he was rushed into surgery. I waited, suspended in disbelief, with our boys beside me. Then the head of the transplant team came to deliver the words that would shatter our hopes.
Grieving More Than a Life
When someone you love dies, especially after a long illness, grief arrives in layers. I wasn’t only grieving his death. I was also grieving the dreams we had built together — the plans, the laughter, the future that would now never unfold.
When your life has been so deeply intertwined with another’s, it isn’t just a person you lose; it’s the version of yourself that existed in that shared world.
The days that followed were a blur — of logistics, decisions, and trying to hold my family together. I was incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by compassionate friends, family, and a dedicated hospital team who helped bring him home to the Island.
But not everyone has that support. And that’s why I am so passionate about the work of charities that stand beside families during and after transplant journeys.
Why Support Matters
I’ve had the privilege of meeting people like Diane Taylor and Pam Makin, whose dedication and compassion offer a lifeline to families in moments of unimaginable strain. Their knowledge, their presence, and their empathy are priceless. When you’re standing on the edge of fear and uncertainty, they are the people who quietly hold you steady.
Their work reminds me that behind every transplant story — whether it ends in life or loss — there are families navigating love, guilt, gratitude, and hope all at once.
The Gift of Life
Did you know that under the new opt-out organ donation law introduced in January this year on the Isle of Man, your relatives can still overturn your wish to donate if you haven’t told them?
That means your voice matters more than ever.
Please, have the conversation. Let your loved ones know your wishes.
Choosing to donate is choosing to give another family the chance to hope again — the chance at life that my husband longed for.
It truly is the greatest gift one human being can give another.
Please register and share your wishes with your family. I will be doing a podcast with Diane Taylor and Pam Makin on the 14th December 2025. Any questions please email me Diane@thegoodgriefcoachiom.com or catch the recording on my Youtube Channel, The Good Grief Coach, Busting Life’s Challenges.
Thanks, Di x